Freaking Out!! All over again...

So, there will be court tomorrow...
I am totally nervous...
I don't like people with authority over me...
which is kind of funny considering that I am married to a person who is a authortive figure at his work, but maybe its because he is totally different at home.

My first marriage was horrible filled with domestic violence and the use of ilegal drugs on his part and every time I seen a police officer or had to go to court, I started freaking out that I was going to get in trouble for what he did. I have never been in trouble in my life, only one traffic ticket in all these years, but still I freak out. Why can't my brain just understand that its just their job, and they aren't out to get me?

The last time I went to court was for a divorce from my first husband. I had to take the stand!! First time in my life! I was so nervous..sweating and shaking all over. I noticed the person who went before me, the judge kept telling that person to speak up. So when it was my turn, I was practically screaming into the mic and answering yes or no before the attorney could finish the question! But I got through it, I hope I do better tomorrow.


Tomorrow is an annulment, not that we want it...
That is another long horrible story for another time.

Then next week, we are going to get married all over again, same as last time..a short little court house of I do's and then once again we will be married.

But, I want to say up front that we have been married since March 17th of 08. All of this is just a techincally...We celebrate our marriage on that date...We are married, we did nothing wrong, this was done to us by someone else.

Now, I will have two dates to celebrate!

I miss her....

Friday!!!

I know its only Monday, but I am so excited for friday..I can hardly wait!

I will be saying hello Florida...nice to see you again!

My awesome hubby already told me, when we get there he is going to take me to the mall. OMG!! I haven't been to a mall in two years! We don't have one here in this small town. I get to go shopping at all my favoite stores..Sweeeett!!

It's only for the weekend, I wish we could stay longer, we are going to try to put so much into a weekend.

On the agenda : Shopping, college football game, dinner with the inlaws, and lunch with my brother, who I adore and miss so much! Oh, and stopping by the SIL's house to give her our down payment on the cabin for the family reunion next summer. I am sure, when we get there, things will be added to the agenda...So Happy, hurry up week, please go by quickly!

Maury?

Why do people insist on being crazy? It is beyond me! Let me start from the beginning..


Facebook IM from some woman: Does your husband have a black cat tattoo?
Yes, he does, for the record, its a panther.

This woman goes on to tell me, she met my husband when she was 18, and he fathered her child, but ditched her and ran away from a dna test when the court ordered it.


I was fuming, beyond pissed! I called my husband screaming at him. Do you know so and so? was the first question I asked, his answer no. As I got more information from her and was relaying it to him over the phone. She claims she changed her name after her mother died in 2005. uhm....ok So we go back and forth and she is telling me that she doesn't want anything but a dna test. No child support, just wants her nine year old to know her dad. I pry and pry for information, gathering as much as I can. Well, because several red flags were being raised. When we finally figured out who she was, he did not meet her when she was 18. She was older than him, much older. She was 27 years old. Then she kept mis-spelling her own kid's name. I asked for pictures, she sent me cell phone pictures that were so tiny, you could not tell what was even in the picture.

Then this woman tells me, she don't want anything from me, but she has told her nine year old about him and she wants her daughter to come move in with us! wtf? First off, he is completely denying that he got her pregnant...but I was like, maybe there is a possibilty so we should get a dna test, and go from there. I asked this woman when her daughter was born? she gives me the date of August 7th and the year. I count back nine months..it comes to November. I tell my husband, are you sure you were not seeing her during the months of October or November ten years ago? He pulls up his military records...he was deployed!! Not only was he deployed to Spain but had been deployed from July of that year until Febuary of the next year.

Today, I send her a message..and tell her that it can not be his child because obviously he wasn't even in the country. I swear you are not going believe me...but she says...oh, she's not nine years old..she is ten! What? how do you not know your child's age? Please!

My husband said he did date her, but figured out she was a little crazy and broke up with her. When he broke up with her, she did the normal, please take me back, I can't live without you. When that did not work, she said she was pregnant with twins and then called to say she had miscarried. She was stalking him and wouldn't leave him alone, his command had to get involved.

I was not around ten years ago, or even nine years ago...but seriously? I think I can do math. She keeps telling me how she loves him, but he don't love her...he loves me. She just wants him to be happy!

I don't know what to do with this crazy woman!

Been So Busy

But busy is good...

The Lt.Dan weekend was great! I was paired up with a Staff Sgt. Marine and it was nice to talk to him and the other volunteers that were there. I was having actual adult conversations with adults, what a concept!! At last count before I left we had raised 100,000 for the wounded veterans, so that is also pretty awesome.

I finally went to the Parris Island Museum, can't believe I have lived here for almost two years and finally went over there and seen. It was pretty interesting and very informative. Every time we go over to Parris Island, I get a sense of pride...my dad was a marine during ww2 and also a drill instructor at the island..for some reason, I feel close to him when I am there on the island.

Getting super excited to go to Tallahassee next weekend too. College football, dinner with the inlaws and a visit with my brother.

Sadness...Just Sadness...

The missing miltary wife, Lori Arrowood was found murdered today and the killer, makes me sick to even say it this, was in law enforcement. Prayers are lifted up for her family and friends.

I also got a call today from one of my sisters, that my oldest sister is in the hospital and not doing well at all. She was in a house fire last week, and things aren't looking good. Praying for a miracle.

I have a sickness, sinus infection, or the sucks to be you kinda flu, trying to get over this since I am going to be volunteering this weekend at the Lt. Dan/Shrimp festival to raise money for wounded veterans..which I am honored to be a part of and hopefully...I will not be traveling to a funeral and can still attend. Going keep praying and hoping for the best

Military Wife Is Missing...

Please help get the word out for her and her family...

Lori Arrowood, there is a page set up for her on facebook..anyone who happens to stop by and read my blog, please go check out the PLEASE HELP FIND LORI ARROWOOD MISSING SINCE 9/25/10 page on facebook.

Alexis ♥

Alexis Nicole..my grandbaby, she will be two on September 11th!

LOVE ♥

Mariah..my newest grandbaby, born August 17th

Seriously?

While my wonderful husband was in the grocery store, and I was sitting out in the car texting ( I think we already established how lazy I am, still unpacking apartment 3 weeks later), a truck full of older black men pull up next to me. My car windows were down, maybe that was my bad, cuz shit got crazy quick! The conversation went like this :

Old Man: Hey lovely

Me: Oh, hi (smile politely)

He gets out of the truck and lets another man out, and turns to me and says

Old Man: You see that (insert that awful N word here) right there, he's been messing with me, so when he comes back out, I want you to get him.

Me: WTF??? laugh at him like yeah right, and go back to texting trying to ignore him now. I didn't park here to be brought into someone's fight. Thinking in my head C'mon T..hurry!

So, the old man turns back to the driver and is talking to him, I am not paying any attention to their conversation, I am trying to avoid him at all cost.

Old Man: Hey sugar, you doing alright?

I completely ignore him, thinking he will get the hint. Nope! He's at my car window now. Hurry up T.....Hurry!

Old Man: Hey sugar, you doing alright?

Me: Oh yeah, I'm fine, How are you? ( what is wrong with you? why did you ask him a question, you stupid stupid girl!)

Old Man: Oh better now that I have met you.

Me: Laugh..thinking please go away!

Old Man: You stay around here?

Me: No, I just moved away

Old Man: Where you stay at sugar?

Omg! really?

Me: Oh the next town over.

Old Man: Oh, good I can come see you then

Ok, now seriously, if this husband of mine does not come out of that store soon, I'm going wring his neck when he does come out. Why do I have to be such a lazy ass and wait in the car? I don't want to be rude to him, he's got plenty of back up with him, and who do I have? A husband, yeah sure, who is slow poking around the grocery store!

Me: Laughs. ( I mean really what could I say? )

Old Man: So sugar, you married?

Me: Oh yes Sir ( Im in the south, gotta use my manners)

Old Man: Again!!??

Really? who is this man? how does he know this is my second marriage? is reading my mind? Quick, try to think of something to say that says please leave me alone in a nice way.

Me: Yes Again!!

Old Man: How long you been married?

Me: Oh, I think I have been married my whole life!

I hear the back car door open, and start planning my escape route..the best thing I can do is try to dive out the passenger car window, even though I am sitting in the driver seat because obviously one of his buddies is now climbing into the car with me!

I look up and the old man has walked away from my window and is now into a conversation with one of his buddies, So, I gather all the courage I can muster and look toward the back seat.

Oh Yay! It's T....My Hero!

It's Raining Men!

So, being a military wife, we move alot! We were living in a house, but due to the fact that I had my kids at an early age and now I'm old, they all grew up and moved out, party time!! So me and T decided we would move to a smaller apartment, save some money, pay off some debt, ya know the normal shit that goes along with being responsible adults..

We moved in last week, and all is going well, except for the guys of hispanic descent painting the outside of our building, Orange! Just in time for Halloween, good times! So, we were only here for a couple days, and I noticed that these nice non english speaking guys were literally outside of my windows all day...on these very high ladders. Let's face it, if you are 3 foot off the ground on something that isn't very sturdy, you are a crazy person in my opinion! I was sitting out on the porch one morning talking to my daughter Des on the phone. I joked with her that these men were being peeping toms all day..and I was absolutely positive I was going to watch one of them commit suicide, because when they have to move the ladder over to paint more of that delicious pumpkin orange paint , they just shake the ladder to move it, instead of getting down, moving the ladder and then going on about their business.

Well, it happened today! Only it was inside the building, in the stairway. Me and T were hanging a mirror above the couch, because yes I am lazy and it takes me forever to unpack a house and hang shit up on the walls. We hear a giant crash, and T says, I think he fell and runs out the door. Sure enough their is man laying at the bottom of the stairs in front of my door. Omg! really? Can you please go kill yourself someplace else? I do not need this shit! He fell from the 3rd floor, on his back on the concrete stairs!

I rush out, he's moaning...shit this is bad! His co-workers come running..I am screaming at him, are you ok? he moans some more. damn it. I say to no one in paticular, ambulance? all three of them in unison..NO. I think to myself maybe they don't understand that english word? So, I then say, medical? surely everyone understands that word. And I curse myself for not remembering all the spanish I learned during the 3 years I was in San Diego, but again they refuse. They scoop him up, because obviously, his legs are broken or worse, his back, and take him away. I watch them carry him away and feel like I should still do something but what can I do? obviously they don't want my help. His buddies brought them into his apartment, where I am sure he is laying on the floor, since about 15 of them live in that one apartment, I seen them all go in there at night and never come out. They are all back outside and in the stairways working now, while he lays there and suffers. I tried to help, they didnt want, stubborn ass ilegals! Please no more attempted suicides in my bulding, there is at least 25 other buildings to chose from!

The early years

It was a second marriage for both of my parents. My mom brought five children into the marriage, my dad brought in four, so as a newly wed couple back in the early seventies, they started out with nine children and then had six together. So, I was lucky number thirteen out of fifteen. Confused yet? It took me a very long time to keep it all straight.

I don't have great memories of my childhood. We never went camping on the weekends, to the zoo, the beach or any place for that matter. My dad was in world war 2, I don't know much else about that because it was never discussed in my house. He was a brick mason and built beautiful houses down in the south. My mom mostly stayed home but sometimes got odd jobs here and there cleaning people's houses. Both of my parents were party animals, they bar hopped every weekend and we were left to fend for our selves. Basically the older children took care of the younger ones. We would share one pack of hot dogs and one can of beans between all of us. The hot dogs would be cut up and mixed into a can of beans and that would be dinner. We never had a real meal. Once in a while on pay day before they hit the bars, they would treat us to a hamburger or chicken, but mostly we ate beans. There was never milk or bread in our house, well honestly we never had anything in the house to eat. I remember one night going into the kitchen for a drink of water and one of my brothers was standing in the kitchen eating mustard straight out of the jar, because he was so hungry.

Later on in life, I remember my brothers would go and rob the hostess dumpsters and bring us home cakes and snacks to eat. They would also rob refrigerated trucks and would get us sandwhich meat and jellos. I know that stealing is not right but those were some good days when they would come in with some food.

Starting Out

My life has been such a crazy roller coaster of events, some may have been from the choices I have made, but others were just because I was born. I just want to write down tidbits from my life to go back and read and remember. I don't care if I have followers, or people commenting. I just want to try and remember things, good, bad, or indifferent. I know my life has no meaning to strangers, so this blog is for me only. For sixteen years, I was beaten at least three times a week, usually more and people always ask me, remember when this happened or that happened? I always answer, no. I have been hit in the head way to many times and it has effected my memory and other things I have blocked out. I am finally happy now, I have been with a great man for five years who treats me like a person should be treated, I just never knew it before him. But before I get too deep into all of that, this is just my first blog entry to introduce myself so to speak. I am 40, I am a female, I have children who are grown up (yes I had them young). I am a sister, an aunt, a niece, a good friend to the few select people I let in my life and I am finally happy. This is going to be like a therapy session for me. I have read many blogs of strangers who say, its nice to write it down, get it out and move on. So, that's what I am going to try and attempt to do. Starting tomorrow, with my childhood...I thought it was normal, I thought everyone lived the way I did. Only when I got older, I realized, we were poor, beyond poverty level and everyone's parents were not alcholics.